You ain’t seen a freakin’ thing yet, lickspittles. I don’t make threats. I make promises. And I promise to live long enough to see Hoge and his entire crew LEGALLY pay for the damage they’ve willfully done to me, my health, my reputation and my life. And you know what they say about payback, right? No threats. Just promises.

I still can’t get the Howard County State’s Attorney to tell me how I specifically “violated” the bogus Peace Order WJJ Hoge has against me. But they did narrow it down a tad today.

Far be it from me to cast aspersions on the intelligence of a public servant, but my dealings with this individual have left me with the impression that he is not the shiniest penny in the change jar. Yes. I KNOW Hoge charged me for violating the peace order. But what I wanted to know was, HOW did I allegedly violate it? Oh, the LICKSPITTLES are CERTAIN that it was a FLAGRANT violation. But I still do not know what it was I did that Hoge was able to take to a Court Commissioner and fool the poor child into thinking I had committed a crime.

The individual at the SA does narrow it down to being “through the use of my Twitter account.” And, as the original complaint says I “violated” Hoge’s “Holiest of Holies” on March 28, I figured what was called for here was a complete list of everything I tweeted on that day. This list runs backwards, so we’re starting with my final tweet of March 28 and ending with my first.

See the violation?

So, did you see the violation?

Me neither.

I don’t see anything in any of these tweets — my entire day of tweeting, including the auto tweets from my radio station — from the time I got up, until the time I hit the sack on March 28 that CONTACTS Hoge, TRIES to contact Hoge, asks anyone ELSE to contact Hoge, or in any other way violates the letter and/or spirit of Hoge’s bogus peace order.

So. Which of these was the offending Tweet? Hoge won’t say. The SA won’t say. And I guess I do not have the right to know.

But one thing is clear. WJJ Hoge is doing his level best to stir the shit pot, hoping to GOAD me into a violation. If he can’t get an actual violation, he will make one up. And unless the law stops him from doing so, I guarantee that the moment the current bogus peace order expires, Hoge will be back in court with the sister-in-law of the Carroll County State’s Attorney as his lawyer, trying to get another Peace Order. He will have to start in District Court, which turned him down twice. So then, he will appeal those and go back to the same befuddled judge who, I just betcha, hasn’t taken the time to figure out what “the Twitter” is or does.

In the meantime, Hoge and his followers are free to whack away at me like a pinata, hoping to break me.

Thank God I’m not facing this alone.

Give a listen to Radio Wiseguy. Mixed with the music, comedy, bloopers and other stuff, you get to hear some of my original mockery of WJJ Hoge, Lee Stranahan, R. Stacy McCain, Aaron Walker, and Ali Akbar.

I’m not a very nice man,

My evil knows no bounds, on account of the evil that I exude.

Whatever happened to the freedom to ignore government regulations and make free use of land that the government says it owns? The Bureau of Land Management is scoopin’ up Cliven Bundy’s cows on account of he refuses to pay the land use fees that every other rancher using government lands has to pay.

He’s a TEA PARTY HERO, that one!

You MIGHT want to make sure to listen to this, in case I violated Hoge’s Peace Order or something by ordering human wave after human wave of freedom fighters to cross the border from Howard County to, uh… “contact” him or something.

One of the recent threads on the idiot Hogewash blog has turned to the fact that I have written several books, all of which have been deemed “terrible” by the Lickspittle community.  These are the same Lickspittles who have declared my radio station “terrible” because all of a sudden Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, Pink Floyd and comedians like George Carlin and Bill Hicks suddenly became “terrible” because I include them in my playlists.

Such is the logic of the Lickspittle.

I would be happy to compare my books, my radio stations to those written or run by WJJ Hoge III or any other of the Lickspittle Mongoloid Legions.  But they don’t have any.

Am I self-published? Yes. All my books, save one, are self published.  Here is the one that someone else actually paid me to publish.

Now, I will admit to having self-published the remainder. But I will also admit to having self-WRITTEN them.

NOT A BEST SELLER IN THE BUNCH!

But I don’t expect stupid people to understand that the act of writing is a joy in and of itself. If someone wants to buy any of these, they can find ‘em at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books-A-Million, and any major online bookseller around the globe.

Now, let’s see what the Lickspittles have written…

In this episode of “Comrade Cabin Boy Mocks the Lickspittle Bourgeiois,” we find the Comrade Cabin Boy longing for the sweet taste of death in hopes of the eventual Zombie Apocalypse.

Patrick G. Grady, bipolar, self-described “highly-functioning sociopath” who has obliquely threatened to kill me on behalf of WJJ Hoge III on several occasions, has stalked… uh, “discovered” me on LinkedIn.

Since I have denied the “Lickspittle Legion” access to my Twitter account, they just GOTS to have their daily Schmalfeldt Fix!

UPDATE: I guess that’s why he calls himself “Frankie!” He’s a FRENCHY! (Or, he’s a coward who uses an anonymizer.)

Isn’t that DISHONEST???

Frankie, sweetie, my little darling! Use the front door next time. This crawling up through the toilet is disgusting!

Honest to God. He just posted this on Hogewash.com. Must be in his manic phase.

Patrick Grady on 15 April, 2014 at 18:45 said:

First – Ka-Ching! Another month’s rent, zero dollars. Frankie, you should come visit.

Second – wait a minute: is CabinBoy now saying I’m Frankie? I’m getting to be a lot of people…let’s see…
I’m Johnny Tyler
I’m Frankie
I’m Palatine Pundit (and where the hell did he go, anyway?)
I’m @dallenberg
I’m Batman
I am Spartacus
I AM WHO AM
I’m Billy Milligan
I’m KimberlinUnmasked
I’m Grace
I’m Chris Heather
I’m Roy Innes
I’m Norman Bates (but he got caught)
I’m Ted Bundy (him too)
I’m Charles Manson (sensing a pattern)
I’m Shirley Ardell Mason
I am the very model of a modern major general
But most of all,
I’m Bill Schmalfeldt.

No, He’s Patrick Grady.

Patrick Grady is just a guy I made up. The guy who got doxed in February doesn’t exist. Palatine is just a spot on a map I picked out. There’s nobody at OfficeMax by that name. Those pictures I posted are from random searches. I have no idea who they are. I photoshop so much crap together it all blurs together. It’s been great fun fooling you all pretending this nonexistent sociopath is stalking me, but it’s all a bunch of horse manure.

There’s no one coming to kill me.
I’ve never spoken to the Howard County State’s Attorney.
I don’t have Parkinson’s Disease and my wife never had cancer. I’ve never had deep brain therapy or staples in my skull.
Photoshop, every bit of it.
I don’t even know Brett Kimberlin.
I’m just an old retired guy having fun mind-humping another blogger and his commenters.

The only things about me that are true are the story of my first wife cheating on me with my best friend and the fact that none of my kids speak to me.

Um. Yeah. He’s OK. Nothing wrong there. Nope.

She doesn’t look AT ALL afraid!

When I finished “Put On Your Parky Face” in 2011, I said it was a story that likely would not have a happy ending.

“My Slow, Journalistic Death” brings the story of my struggle with the progressive neurological disorder and my attempts to maintain an active life as a journalist full circle.

This will probably be my last book. It’s an e-book, available May 8. It’s $5, and every dime of profit will be donated to the National Parkinson Foundation.

You can reserve a copy today, or wait until May 8 and get it at any of the major online booksellers that sell e-books.

I don’t imagine Hoge, et al, will be thrilled about this book as it deals with them mostly. The story is told through articles published in Breitbart Unmasked, woven together by today’s narrative. It’s amazing when I look at the manuscript and see that Hoge gets all of one mention in the first three chapters of 13, and yet he is my chief tormentor. I guess he wanted more attention than the others did.

SYNOPSIS

When retired journalist Bill Schmalfeldt began looking into the legitimacy of a right wing group’s 501(c)3 status, he unwittingly kicked a hornets’ nest of thugs and criminals who did not want a disabled middle-aged man mucking with their fundraising schemes. Learning that stress causes Parkinson’s disease to progress at an ever-rapid rate, these thugs poured it on, dragging him to court on nearly 400 criminal charges, making threats against his life, his family, his home, and even his pets. They attacked via Twitter, Facebook, email and on his blog in a relentless assault that left Schmalfeldt, after two years of daily harassment, reaching out to law enforcement for protection that his county’s State’s Attorney could not and would not provide. As his disease worsened, the pressure increased, leaving Schmalfeldt unable to do much more than speak a sentence at a time without coughing, making it necessary for him to use a rolling walker in his home and a wheelchair outside. And while local law enforcement advises him to “get off the Internet” to make the harassment stop, Schmalfeldt doggedly insists on seeing this story through to the end… even if it means hastening the end of his life.

They haven’t read it. I haven’t posted a sample chapter. It won’t be available until May 8 as an ebook, but the Taint Snorters at Hogewash.com are ALREADY in a later over my newly-announced book, “My Slow Journalistic Death.”

2. Patrick Grady on 17 April, 2014 at 00:27 said:

   And of course, I should hope this doesn’t need saying, but I’m going to say it anyway:

   • I know that a lot of you LICKSPITTLES!!!! are going to want to read my fabulous book, whatever else you do, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you purchase at Amazon through HOOOOOGGGGGE’S affiliate link. The last thing I want is anyone putting coin in his pocket for my DEFAMATION! and LIBEL!

     PERJURY!!11!!!1

     Christ, now my speech recognition software is SLANDER! doing it too.
3. • The legal system seems quite willing to overlook stuff written on blogs or twitter, but blatant libel in a published book somehow seems like something even they would take seriously.

     And since he seems to be saying that he’ll be going after everyone who’s ever upset him, it sounds almost like a class action suit in the making, if you can have class action libel suit.

      

     EPWJ on 16 April, 2014 at 23:29 said

     Like at other places – don’t be surprised if an author’s books are pulled by a on-line retailer who was given a copy of a persons parkyticular screed against innocent people

Such SAD little lickspittles. It’s awful hard to libel someone when you use their words to tell the story. And in an e-book, you can use hyperlinks so the reader can see for him or herself who said what.

May 8. That’s about four weeks from now. Make sure you get those pre-orders in. You can get free samples now here. Once it’s fully published, the e-book will be available at

What’s wrong with this statement?

Well, for one thing, it’s a lie. The harassment I’ve received is a direct pushback — but not against any harassment I’ve “dished out.” It’s a pushback from my asking questions and not getting answers because certain people didn’t want their little money-making schemes exposed. Never in this long ordeal did I ever throw the first punch, but I sure as hell punched back when I was hit. This can be demonstrated by the fact that not once has any of these cretins demonstrated a single instance of my “offending” them without their having “offended” me first. It’s like any other kind of fighting. If you pick up a rock and throw it at someone, you better kill him with it or he’s gonna find a bigger rock to throw back at you. Which is all I have done.

Also, the fact of the matter is that Walker was not seeking protection from my “online harassment” as there WAS no online harassment. He was “allegedly” told by a Howard County Assistant State’s Attorney to “stay out of Maryland if you don’t want to be harassed” because Brett Kimberlin was at the courthouse the same time HE was. Remember? I do.

So there you go. Hoge is lying. So what else is new?

You can read more about it when my new book, “My Slow, Journalistic Death” premieres on May 8. And although Hoge makes what seems to be a kind offer here…

…I will say that I don’t care where you buy the book or how you buy the book.  But knowing that Hoge is an inveterate liar…

Do you REALLY believe he’s gonna donate a NICKEL to the NPF?  I don’t. But that’s just me.

And if “the easiest way to discredit me is to quote me,” who are you discrediting when you quote the people I quote in my new book, with links showing you just where they said the things they said? That’s the neat thing about e-books. They work with hyperlinks.

I’ve never seen so much running around clucking and scratching like chickens before a thunderstorm like I’m seeing in the Lickspittle Community over the May 8 release of my new book, “My Slow, Journalistic Death.”

Wouldn’t it serve them right if the book didn’t even mention them at ALL?

We call little things like these “marketing videos.”

A very respectful, polite and — is “nice” a word you can use when talking about a cop? — officer from the Howard County Police Department stopped by the ranch this afternoon. We had a long, pleasant chat on a cool, sunny afternoon out there on my front porch.

The purpose of his visit was to inform me that local law enforcement was taking me seriously, but he wanted to explain what the law can and cannot do. I told him I understood, and that I had no problem. The conversation turned to WJJ Hoge’s peace order. He wanted to know if Hoge had ever contacted me.

I said, yeah, but he asserts he has the right to do that.

“Actually, no he doesn’t,” the officer said. “We have this problem from time to time when someone takes out a peace order, then gets in contact with the person they took the order out against. The order goes both ways.”

Really, I asked. I told the officer how Hoge attempted to “follow me” on Twitter less than a month after getting his first peace order. We talked about the basis of Hoge’s peace order, and the officer said Howard County understood what the Carroll County judge did not — that Twitter is not a direct communication platform. He said that was the main reason the State’s Attorney deep-sixed Hoge’s 367th criminal charge against me… they don’t consider a “Twitter contact” as direct contact… unlike regular mail, phone calls, or even e-mails.

He suggested I contact the Deputy State’s Attorney who has been looking at my complaints regarding Hoge’s constant bombardment of harassment to see whether or not Hoge’s contact of me so soon after getting his peace order could be construed as a violation of the order, or even as harassment.

So, that’s what I did, by golly! I sent the Deputy State’s Attorney the gist of the conversation I had with the Community Services Officer (who is recovering from a nasty car accident), sent her a copy of Hoge’s “follow request”, a copy of the peace order, and asked if this would serve as proof of harassment.

Oh, I also included several of today’s comments regarding Hoge’s cynical attempt to smother my book in its cradle, along with several of the comments.  I haven’t heard back yet, but the officer — whose name I will gladly reveal to anyone who sends me a comment with a working e-mail address — said that it would be considered grossly inappropriate for a person to take out a peace order against someone and then continually rattle that person’s cage in an apparent effort to goad that person into violating that peace order knowing that he can say whatever horrible thing he wants to say, or whatever he can encourage his followers to say, knowing I cannot respond. He called that “pretty scummy behavior.”

He told me they ran the IP numbers I gave them (after telling me they have one person to answer phones and one to handle computer stuff) and the vast majority turned out to be anonymous cowards. But not all, he said. We discussed a certain individual in the Chicago suburbs who might want to be watching his or her “six” — if you know what I mean.

Now, I know the Lickspittles read this blog like it was the Bible. And I know at some point the conversation will turn to whether or not I actually spoke to a police officer, and whether or not the conversation went the way I said it did. But you know what? Their opinion doesn’t matter.

And that’s just too bad, isn’t it?

The HoCo SA isn’t real great about quick responses to my questions. So, I’ll just have to keep on them until I get an answer.

Does it seem right to you, getting a peace order against someone… effectively tying his hands behind his back… then slapping him around to your heart’s content? Does that seem even marginally fair to you?

It didn’t to this very professional, very polite police officer.

I don’t think it will seem fair to the Howard County State’s Attorney either.

We’ll just have to see if they can, and are willing, to do anything about it.

Check it out, and listen to the 24/7 “Late Night Variety Show” on Internet Radio. It’s Alway Late Night Somewhere on the Planet. Now, with FREE iOS and Android apps!

I am what you call a second amendment liberal. I believe in the right to reasonable ownership of firearms. I do not think that means you can own a thermonuclear weapon. Nor, do I think people who have been diagnosed with mental illness should be allowed to have a firearms license.

People like Patrick G. Grady of Palatine, IL, who — through his own blog (now removed from the web) and his comments on the Hogewash blog and on Twitter — has made oblique threats to kill me.

But, according to People Smart…

I’m sure they got the date wrong, and that is supposed to be 1998 — unless Patrick got his license in the future.

I’ve forwarded this info to the Howard County State’s Attorney to do with what they will.

Let’s examine some of this things this Patrick Grady has written.

These were originally posted at http://48daysnet.ning.com/forum/topics/help-my-mental-illness-is, but they’ve since been removed.  Good thing I screencapped them, eh?

Seems like an upright, normal guy, right?

And how could we ever forget THIS which is definitely not a threat against me in any way?

And then, there’s what he wrote this morning on the Hogewash site.

I’m just SURE that this will NEVER turn into one of those stories where someone with a history of mental illness goes “flipside” and kills a bunch of people. Aren’t you?

Me neither.

Look at this, and read it using your favorite Humphrey Bogart inner voice.

Yeah, Cyberthuggery. Copyright infringment. Them is OUR rackets, see? Yeah! We got your picture all over dis blog widdout yer permission. And we ain’t takin’ ‘em down, see? Yeah. You arrogant punk. You know what happens to arrogant punks around here, right?  Bad t’ings happen to ‘em.  It would be just too bad is you didn’t just give it a rest for awhile, pally! Because I’m hopin’ I’m done wif ya for awhile. But if you don’t give it a rest, well, me an’ da boys (and yes, I am including the incredible clitoris of Nancy Gilly in this threat) is gonna come and GIT ya! Take ya fer a RIDE. A one way trip, if ya know what I mean. Yeah, see? Yeah.

Arrogant am I? For using a fucking SENTENCE out of your THOUSANDS OF BLOG PAGES while your blog is CHOKED with pictures of me all used without my permission? ARROGANT?

Hoge ain’t seen arrogant yet.

Is Hoge “Done with me”? Doesn’t that leave you with the idea that he WASN’T done with me until he did something, and now that he’s done that thing, he’s DONE with me? Doesn’t that sound like a promise of more bad things to come if I don’t “get wise” and “give it a rest”?

Here’s what I envision.

Hoge’s gonna send Nancy Gilly over here from Scrotum, Connecticut to stare at me through the bedroom window.

Brrrrr.

He’s gonna send the tatted Eye-talian Tom Puzio to come down here and drip STUPID all over my front yard and scare my dogs with his pretty rose flower tattoos.

He’s gonna send the felon Kyle Kiernan to come over and FELONIZE me somehow.

He’s gonna send Patrick Grady to saw my head off like so many little Mr. Bill dollies. “OOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOO!”

But he won’t do anything himself, unless he can do it through deceit, fuckery, slimeballedness and malicious prosecution. Because when you come right down to it,when they handed out “Y” Chromosomes, Hoge gave his extra one to his son. So now, his genetically deformed son has that extra chromosome and Hoge has a bald patch where his cock and balls should be. His taint starts at his belly button and goes all the way back to his crusted, filthy bunghole.

How’s that? Arrogant? Just getting started.

I’m not even going to make any demands, Everybody do what you gotta do. But don’t pretend you’re Christians. Jesus would shit you out and then spray the room to dampen the stench.

If Hoge wants me, he knows where I live. Let HIM come and get me himself instead of sending his feckless, ineffective, idiotic stooges to do his work for him.

If he let’s me know he’s coming, I’ll have a pot of coffee ready.

The monstrous, sadistic, tormenting prick and waste of carbon.